Fetushead Cannibalism Creates Possibility For Perfect Fat Hump Story

09.25.11 6 years ago 635 Comments

We’ve bagged on Colts fans plenty since Battleship Manning ran aground on Neck AIDS Island. But no amount of KSK buffoonery could match the hilarity of this story shared by Mandy, perhaps our least irritating regular commenter from Indy (enjoy the faint praise):


Damn, almost forgot to share the funniest Fat Hump story in a while. Last night at dinner, I overheard a woman say, “I just can’t cheer for Peyton Manning anymore. Did you hear he had that surgery where they have to kill babies to get stem cells?”

Oh, that’s just perfection. I wish I could get that story in a to-go container from Steak ‘n’ Shake and consume for my next six meals.

Anyway, this game obviously begs for the flex treatment. But, alas, the current scheduling structure can’t correct for when teams built entirely on one player lose that player to injury. Too bad! Take heart in the continuation of the Bottomless Fries Basket of Colts fan despair. Then again, you never know; maybe Robert Mathis and Dwight Freeney will tee off on the Steelers’ horrible offensive tackles and Indy pulls an upset. That would be incredibly funny in its own way. But, yeah, no one will blame you for skipping this one for “Boardwalk Empire” and “Breaking Bad”.

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