Real talk: Five Guys is great. Is it better than In-N-Out? I’m from New York, so I have to say, “Yes,” in the same way that I’m supposed to love Billy Joel and a schmear of hot garbage on a bagel. The better burger is a total toss-up, but Five Guys fries are as great as their customer service is terrible. John learned this the hard way when he emailed the company after his “office was charged for fries that were missing.”
Their response: f*ck you, basically.
Joke’s on Five Guys: John actually works in an office with a guy in Tool.