A Florida Man Tried To Buy A BMW With Food Stamps And It Did Not Go Well

03.21.16 9 months ago

Today in “Florida Man” news, a resident of the finest crazy news-producing state of the South attempted to purchase a BMW with nothing but EBT and credit cards. As you can probably guess, that purchase wasn’t exactly approved. Buying a $60,000 vehicle directly from the dealership definitely requires more than food stamps and guts, so things did not go well for Nicholas Jackson in his efforts to go home with a shiny new car. When the dealership in Pompano Beach decided that no, a hodge podge of different forms of credit and IOU’s is in no way enough to buy a car, Jackson refused to take the hint and went back for another try the next day.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, that next attempt occurred in the form of a car theft and a subsequent arrest. Apparently, Jackson thought that if he were to steal a luxury car that the best one to go after was the same one he had just been trying to purchase with non-traditional methods not even 24 hours beforehand. He also allegedly stole more than 60 sets of keys from the dealership, which only makes sense if you think that a dealership that has just been robbed will leave the rest of their vehicles free and clear for someone to grab – especially if that someone has the keys to each and every one.

As much as everybody loves Nicholas Cage, Gone in 60 Seconds is a fictional story after all, and instead of getting to drive off into the sunset with his new whip and a lady by his side Nicholas Jackson is heading to jail with just the memory of how sweet that drive was away from the dealership. To add insult to injury, he didn’t have enough money to fill the tank once he stole the car and ran out of gas before he could even get home.

If the local police took any more than even a few minutes to figure out the culprit in the most idiotically obvious heist ever, then they are worse at their jobs than Jackson is at stealing cars.

(via FOX 29 Philadelphia)

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