Florida is really stepping up their A-game this week. With everything going on in Sochi right now, Florida is clearly like, “Hey, don’t forget about us! We’re still total f*ck ups, too!” As such, James Lawlor of Clearwater, Florida was charged with Grand Theft this week after attempting to steal over $300 worth of of cat food from a local Wal-mart. From 10 News Tampa Bay:
Officers responded to the Walmart on Us Highway 19 North in Clearwater to investigate a shoplifting case involving cat food. Loss prevention staff had detained James Lawlor for loading up a shopping cart full of cat food and then walking to his car without paying.
Lawlor explained to officers that he had done this in the past and that he steals the cat food to sell in what he calls “hustling.” Lawlor also said he has a friend with 300 cats and he sells the food to him and others.
I’m not sure what part of this story I find most alarming: That “hustling” is actually a term used to describe stealing hundreds of dollars worth of cat food to sell on the black market — or that there are apparently people out there with upwards of 300 cats that warrant this type of illegal activity. I don’t know WHAT some dude in Florida needs with 300 cats, but the Florida-ness of this whole thing doesn’t sound good. All I know is that if I had a kid in school near Clearwater, Florida — no way in hell would I let them drink the milk.