Fun With Mock Drafts: Adopted By A Sitcom Family

04.16.10 8 years ago 123 Comments

Marcia looks like she wants a piece of that center square.

For this week’s draft we’re going to pretend that we are orphans picking out a sitcom family to go live with. Any family featured in any sitcom is eligible, so choose wisely.

Draft order…

1. Punte
2. Ape
3. Drew
4. Flubby
5. Kogod
6. Falco

Note: Ufford was unavailable for today’s draft.

1. Punte- The Bower/Micelli Family from Who’s the Boss

“Alyssa Milano AND Judith Light? Game over.”

2. Ape- The Pritchitt Family (Jay and Gloria) from Modern Family

“I can kill off Jay easy. And if I have to have a son, Manny seems about a good an option as any.”

Careful with Jay, he coached football.

3. Drew- The Huxtable Family from The Cosby Show

“Great house, great location, loving family, black street cred, funny dad, Lisa bonet around to smear chicken blood on. Can’t beat that.”

Agreed on all counts.

4. Flubby- The Bundy Family from Married With Children

Back-to-back Ed O’Neil picks! And why not, they always seem so happy and well fed on that show.

Photoshop by Flubby.

5. Kogod- The Banks Family from Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Because I know Uncle Phil would let me drive the Jag.

6. Falco- The Lubbock Family from Just the Ten of Us

“Coach Lubbock sure had a craaazy family. And the “Lubbock Babe” could sing like birds!

7. Falco- The Barone Family from Everybody Loves Raymond

“That Debra, what a woman.”

8. Kogod- The Foreman Family from That 70’s Show

Eric is like a lightning rod for all of Red’s anger, so I figure I could coast in that household. But really I just want to get in on those basement sessions.

9. Flubby- The Drummond Family from Diff’rent Strokes.

“Manhattan penthouse with a maid & chauffeur? Don’t mind if I do.’

Just stay out of that damn bike shop.

10. Drew- The Spellman Family from Sabrina The Teenage Witch


11. Ape- The Addams Family from The Addams Family

“Nice to be the normal one.”

12. Punte- The Tanner Family from ALF

Ape: I was about to pull the trigger on Alf, but then I’ll always have him in Pog form.

Yeah, and you wouldn’t want to put Jean Gray in any danger.

13. Punte- The Lane Family from The Patty Duke Show

“Double trouble, double hj’s!”

14. Ape- The Jetson Family from The Jetsons

Nooo! I hope Rosie runs over your foot and Astro eats your cock.

Ape: They’ll probably have a pill to remedy that.

Flubby: Self-outing on blog results in firing from Spacely Sprockets.

15. Drew- The Seavers from Growing Pains

“Joanna Kerns, MILf extraoridnaire”

Two great picks in a row. Drew could very well be the next Leonardo DiCaprio. Just do me a favor and kill Mike before he has a chance to be born again.

16. Flubby- The Stratton Family from Silver Spoons

“Train inside my crib, y’all!”

17. Kogod- The Bluth Family from Arrested Development

It had to be this way. And I think I’d really enjoy life with the Bluths. Lucille may be a horrible mother, but she always has plenty of booze on hand, and she’s got plenty of money in the bank (not to mention the banana stand). Plus I wouldn’t pussyfoot around Maeby like George Michael did. Now who wants a to make some corn balls?

18. Falco- The Taylor Family from Home Improvement

“Now that I’m jobless I spend a good deal of my time watching reruns of this truly iconic show. Bonus points for proximity to Wilson, that guy is a font of wisdom. Hey, I wonder if Al would consider moving in with us…”

Add your picks in the comments, just wait ten selections before choosing again. Anyone who drafts a family from a drama/miniseries/tv movie will be executed.

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