Future Heart Attack Patients Rejoice, For KFC Is Bringing Back Your Beloved Double Down!

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Web Culture Editor
04.16.14 9 Comments


KFC‘s Double Down, which Stephen Colbert once described as “the warped creation of a syphilitic brain” is coming back this month — not be outdone by Domino’s “Fried Chicken Crust” pizza — proving that fast food companies will never stop employing creative methods of trying to kill stupid and gluttonous human beings. From USA Today:

For those who didn’t get to sample the meaty menu item, KFC is offering one more chance: Starting April 21, the Double Down will return to the fast-food chain, according to KFC spokesperson Rick Maynard. You heard it here first.

Once again, the sandwich will be available for a limited time. I hear KFC has a social media campaign up its sleeve that includes a nationwide “Double Down Dare” (oh, my).

I feel like if you have to dare consumers to eat your food because of the presumed grossness of said food which could actually prove to be a detriment to long-term health, then maybe you might want to rethink your marketing strategy. Although when the Double Down came out the first time, I tagged along with a group of guys who ordered them out of the sheer novelty of eating two pieces of fried chicken stuffed with cheese and bacon, so I guess that’s why I’m not in marketing anymore.

And yes, if you’re wondering, the Double Down was every bit the wipe-a-solid-wall-clear disgusting, sad and disappointing failure you might expect. Everyone I was with hated themselves for eating it and although I did not confirm — probably had greasy, unpleasant bowel movements the following morning.

But hey: It’s available for a limited time only! Get ’em while they last!

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Stacey lives in West Philadelphia where she enjoyed brief internet fame for live tweeting her neighbor having sex.

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