“Half On A Baby…”

08.06.08 9 years ago 43 Comments

When R. came out in 1998 it was winning as the complete panty-dropper on high school and college campuses all over the nation. Start the heavy petting with a little “Get Up On A Room,” allow the awkward dance to progress with Crucial Conflict on “Ghetto Queen,” and then settle into some 2 min. love making with “Half On A Baby.”

None of this, however, matters in retrospect on account of everything Mr. Kelly says yesterday, today and tomorrow has new, inextricable innuendo.

Half on a baby?? Gross.

Which half? The bottom half? Who’s the baby? How old is she?

Because no matter what you say, I will always always always believe Robert Kelly A) peed on a young girl and B) has a problem. R. will never again be in my CD player on the way to my boyfriend’s house as it was when I was a junior in high school. There is no way that joint could put me in the mood. Ever. Again.

TSS extended family Phonte wrote a blog after Robert Kelly was acquitted of the now infamous charges against him. He put the whole situation in perspective better than I could… so let me hand over the mic…

Swiped from Phonte’s MySpace

Friday, June 13, 2008

Would R. Kelly be in jail if he had pissed on a dog?

The social hierarchy according to the American legal justice system goes something like this:

Dead dogs >>>>> bullet riddled Black men >>>>>> sexually abused Black girls

Or at least that’s the way I understand it based on what I’ve seen in the past few years.

My homie Donwill of Tanya Morgan posed this question earlier and really got me to thinkin. What IF Kells had taped himself pissin on a doberman pincher instead of a 13 year-old? Whatever the case, I’m almost certain that the animal rights activists would’ve reacted more fervently to that visual than R. Kelly’s fanbase did to the one in question.


I just don’t get it, yo.

So a guy who just so happens to look like R. Kelly, and a girl who just so happens to look like Reshonda Landfair (in the Fubu jersey), videotape themselves having sex in a house that JUST SO HAPPENS TO LOOK LIKE R’KELLY’S and you still have reasonable doubt that this nigga is guilty? I mean, at one point in the “evidence” you can hear the nigga moan and say something that just so happens to sound like, “Damn, Shon…” (I could be wrong on this though, he could’ve been sayin “Damn, shorty”…..which allegedly was Reshonda’s stage name….*shrug*)

I’m convinced that the victim and her family were paid off to not testify, and the jury (assuming they weren’t tampered with), had to be the doofiest bunch of niggers since the cast of Mama’s Family.

At this point, I can’t even be mad at R. Kelly. In fact, my heart goes out to him. I think he’s an incredible talent who, aside from his bouts of unbridled niggery, is still one of our generation’s best singer/songwriters. There’s no denying that.

But he’s also a sick fuck who needs to seek help STAT. It ain’t like we never heard about you pullin this bullshit before, Sylvester. But as long as he’s crankin out the hits and the people around him have a financial interest in his career, he’ll never be pushed to get help. And with today’s not guilty verdict, he doesn’t even have an incentive to. I’m not as mad at him as I am at his enablers. It’s sad shit really.

Parents, love and protect your kids. Because (unless you’re filthy rich), our legal system damn sho ain’t.

Happy people, baby.


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