Hater’s Guide To The Postseason – Philadelphia Eagles

01.07.10 8 years ago 115 Comments

What the shirt says.

If you find yourself confronted with an NFL postseason without a rooting interest and unmoved by Don Cheadle soliloquies, you must draw from the well of that most powerful of human emotions. Ok, well, lust probably won’t do here. But the second most powerful, hate, will serve as a fine proxy. This is one in a series of posts filled with bile, spleen, vitriol and all-around nastiness toward all the teams involved with the sordid roundelay we know as the NFL Playoffs.

You need a little extra incentive to hate the Eagles? Well then you should probably attend an Eagles game. In an effort to spare you that experience here are a few things that should inspire some ill-will.

– The Eagles were named after the National Recovery Act’s rather fascist symbol.

Invincible was typical Disney tripe.

– Brian Westbrook’s blood will be on their hands.

– Have you ever bet on an Eagles game only to watch Andy Reid completely fuck you in the ass in the waning minutes? Of course you have.

– During World War II they teamed up with the Steelers to form the most unholy partnership the world had seen since the fall of the Triple Alliance.

– Their official team blogger is a spitter, and a pretty shitty cameraman to boot. It really is a shame about the star, because verily, it tied the room together.

It should be noted that pretty much everybody in Philly seems to hate said blogger. Not that it should come as much of a surprise. People in Philly hate pretty much everything, up to and including cookies, orgasms, and their franchise quarterback.

– Witch(a)y Woman

– Best of My Love

– Desperado

– Lyin’ Eyes

– Take It to the Limit

– Hotel California

– Life in the Fast Lane

– Hotel California

– The Long Run

– Hotel California

Peaceful Easy Feeling

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