05.03.10 7 years ago 30 Comments

The alpaca message boards must be buzzing about this one.

Real Hollywood descended on Hollywood for Ugly People for the annual gala White House Media Compromising Their Own Objectivity For The Sake of a Cheap Status Affirmation Dinner. It’s a nice event to go to when people are trying to set bombs off in Times Square. Obama told Daily Show jokes. Egos were stroked. Everyone went away convinced of their own power.

More importantly, Tony Romo was caught in a photo with Zach Galifianakis, which is a wonderfully unexpected celebrity juxtaposition. I’m a little disappointed, as it looks like they are only between ONE FERN. Why must you ruin Zach’s bit, Tony?

“LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT ME JAWS! CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW RED MY FACE IS?! WOULD YOU EVER GUESS, IN A MILLION YEARS, THAT I’D BE MORE RED THAN MAUREEN DOWD? Maureen Dowd! This is one zany broad. She wrote that book, “Are Men Necessary?” WHAT KIND OF THING IS THAT? I got a book title for you, sweetie. It’s called “Are Floppy Tits Necessary?” Every page just has the word yes over and over.

Oh shit. Do I have to apologize again?”

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