Fans of J.K. Rowling’s wizarding world of Harry Potter know all about Hogwarts and its long and storied history of famous witches and wizards, but little is known about the wand-wielders across the pond. The information that hardcore fans do have is scarce – but it’s there if you look with the right set of eyes.
We know that in the 1920’s, Newt Scamander visited New York, and the events of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them played out in all of their destructive glory. We also know that the magically inclined are governed by The Magical Congress of The United States, but where is the school, and how has American culture affected the patronus of a kid named Todd, who’s a Chicago Bulls fan?
That’s where Reddit comes to the rescue. Redditor LimboDog asked, “How would a school for Magic in the USA differ from Hogwarts?” and Reddit came to the collective aid with a slew of cynical-yet-astute predictions of what a Hogwarts would be like in the U.S. of A.:
Scandalousmambo hit the nail on the head immediately:
It would be sponsored by Wizards of the Coast and Gatorade.
But DaSaw made sure to clarify:
That’s actual wizards who live on the coast, not the gaming company. :p
Whether Gatorade would actually aid real gators is the next question. And how does a magic caster quench their thirst and replenish electrolytes after a tough game of quidditch? Hmph.
User moxious_maneuver (along with 800+ up voters) takes umbrage with the expensive schooling in the states:
Ron could not afford to go.
But then, who knows if there could be a student loan taken out at the U.S. Gringotts? Those goblin interest rates though…
Next, deyterkourjerbs lays it all out with a healthy amount of cliches:
I’m British and I’ve watched many episodes of Saved By The Bell and at least 5 episodes of Beverly Hills 90210.
Firstly everyone would be very good looking because all Americans are good looking except Dustin Diamond. And everyone who was 16 would for some reason look like a model aged between 18 and 28.
You wouldn’t have Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff so much as the Jocks, the Rich Kids, the Nerds and Screech.
The quidditch team would be way more of a big deal, with the American Hermione acting as some sort of cheerleader and maintaining some sort of vendetta against the American version of Ginny for sleeping with American Harry at the homecoming dance prom. The off screen sexual arrangements would be more complicated and pretty much everyone would be plotting revenge against everyone else for doing something.
The American Harry would focus on breezing through classes and working scams on Mr Dumbledore (such as using his magic to get the test papers).
While J.K. Rowling has confirmed that there is no NYC wizarding school, Salem, Massachusetts has the adult school for witches (host of the famous Salem Witch Trials). So, where can the official school be? There’s multiple quidditch teams, including one from Texas, so does the Lone Star State have the school for up and coming wizards and witches in the States? Do those wizards wear cowboy hats and carry wand holsters?
(Via Reddit)
