Basically, if you live in any state in the southeast right now — and I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know when I say this — you’re pretty much screwed. Not to brag or anything, since I live in Philadelphia — which is going to be hit with this winter storm later tonight — and I literally just ate the last two pieces of bread. So why am I bringing this up? I happened to be watching an ABC News report of this week’s winter storm, with copious footage of cars just totally eating it out there, and all I could think was DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN WHY ARE THEY DRIVING SO FAST? Listen: If you’re going to drive 50+mph on a highway covered in a sheet of ice, your car is going to spin faster than an Olympic figure skater. Ice does not give a sh*t about your 4-wheel drive.
Seriously though, people, be safe and stay indoors — until, I don’t know, April?