How A Pool Noodle Fight With Canadian Teens Took A Near Deadly Turn

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As you’re probably aware, pool noodles are those foam things people use to lazily float around swimming pools or young kids use while learning how to swim. Or, if you’re a teenager, to beat your friend senseless with! As fun as that can be, a friendly pool noodle altercation between Vancouver teens turned bloody earlier this week.

Shame on you, Canada. This is something we’d expect from Florida, but you’re supposed to be better than this. Corporal Richard De Jong of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police gave a statement on the incident, via VanCity Buzz:

“Two males started at it, pushing back and forth and hitting each other with those noodles,” De Jong said. “That’s where it gets interesting… Alcohol definitely was a contributing factor here.”

The injured man had been knocked down by a noodle and fallen on his back. At the time, he was wearing a backpack with a glass bottle of rum inside, which consequently shattered on impact. A shard of glass pierced into the man’s back causing a deep and serious wound. He was immediately treated by paramedics and rushed to Lions Gate Hospital.

Corporal De Jong says that if there hadn’t been first aid nearby the teen would have most certainly bled out, or if the glass had punctured his lung, he would have probably died. A cautionary tale, everyone. It’s all fun and games until someone gets foam noodle-whipped and has a bottle of rum impaled in their back. So, you think about that at your next pool party.

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