You Down With HPV?

04.13.10 8 years ago 13 Comments

Never underestimate the power of advertising. Don’t doubt a minute that a quick blurb, buzz in your ear can’t persuade or influence brain activity. One minute, you think you’re about to be thoroughly entertained by back episodes of Modern Family and the next, your curiosity has been heightened by a commercial spot for an apparent freak of nature; a STD that gets transmitted without the sex. What kind of human-hating, vile, apocalyptic organism could this be?

Surely, the name HPV rings bells, or not. With so many naughty H’s in the land of milk & honey such as hepatitis, herpes and the grand dragon: the HIV, the human papillomavirus (told you it hated life) can often get grouped in or largely ignored all together.

So what makes HPV…HPV? Condoms not being foolproof are only one of the many oddities associated with the disease. Check out a few zingers courtesy of

HPV Facts #15–Certain types of HPV can cause genital warts. While it’s definitely the wrong way to earn the nickname “Bumpy Johnson,” genital warts aren’t completely eradicated but they can be treated to never come back if you’re oh so lucky.

HPV Fact #9–HPV often has no signs or symptoms, meaning you could be infected, but not really, kinda sorta? Does that make any sense?

HPV Fact #11–You actually don’t have to have sex to get HPV, as in if you stare at your secret crush too many times in the office, your blood can become a host for the big Papillo. Actually, any sort of genital contact can cause the spread of HPV. The guide says the only way to prevent this is to avoid all sexual activity that involves genital contact. Which means you’ll be stuck playing 3rd grade doctor on the weekends if you’re a prude.

HPV Fact #7–Cervical cancer is caused by certain types of HPV. If not treated and checked regularly, HPV can enter the cervix and hack away. Every day, it is speculated that thirty women are diagnosed with cervical cancer. HPV can also cause abnormal Pap tests so it’s for the best to be on top of things ladies.

Four facts only scratch the surface in this arena. has the full lineup as to what the disease is fully capable of. Not deadly in the slightest, it can, however, lead to complications for it is a complicated virus. They say abstinence is the surefire method, but it is fairly unrealistic. All you can do is stay educated on the facts.

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