“I Am Alive” Nontroversy Lights Up the Internet, Is Stupid

Senior Contributor
11.28.11 4 Comments

So, as you may be somewhat aware, possibly from an angry tweet about how Ubisoft doesn’t care about PC gamers or butthurt forum trolls, Ubisoft’s upcoming and extremely interesting “I Am Alive” is quite possibly not hitting PCs because, shockingly, Ubisoft is concerned about piracy and sales.

But, you can’t actually admit this, because apparently PC gamers get angry when you make a business decision they don’t like.

Here’s what the creative director of the game, Stanislaus Mettra, actually said (condensed from the original article):

“We’ve heard loud and clear that PC gamers are bitching about there being no version for them, but are these people just making noise just because there’s no version or because it’s a game they actually want to play? Would they buy it if we made it?

It’s hard because there’s so much piracy and so few people are paying for PC games that we have to precisely weigh it up against the cost of making it. Perhaps it will only take 12 guys three months to port the game to PC, it’s not a massive cost but it’s still a cost. If only 50,000 people buy the game then it’s not worth it.”

Here’s what PC gamers apparently heard:

“No, we will not bow down to you on your golden throne and give you everything you desire. You are not the center of the gaming universe. We don’t appreciate your special specialness. Also, your mom.

Seriously, Kotaku accompanies their report on this interview with an NSFW image and headline that basically boils down to “WE DON’T PIRATE GAMES AND WHINE CONSTANTLY! WE DON’T WE DON’T WE DON’T!”. Because the way to prove you are an intelligent, responsible consumer and that there’s a market for the game is to show that you really are a spoiled, whiny brat. That’ll learn ’em!

What’s really grating about all this is that the ones most outraged genuinely do not seem to realize that Mettra was just being honest about the challenges all publishers, big and small, face as part of their jobs. “I Am Alive” has had an especially tortured history, nearly being canceled multiple times and turned into a downloadable title after originally being a AAA console release. Mettra has to think about this stuff because his game already has a lot going against it, and one misstep means he and his entire team could be out of a job in an instant.

Maybe instead of getting angry over his concerns, PC gamers could take a good hard look at their culture and consider what they can do to meet game developers halfway instead of treating them like serfs? Just a thought.

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