I Can’t Believe Jeff George Was Passed Over For Vice-Presidentby Jason Whitlock

09.18.08 9 years ago 29 Comments

Once again , another presidential election is upon us and once again both major parties have ignored the most qualified person to serve as Vice-President. America needs Jeff George.

Now, before you dismiss me as someone shilling for a job for an old friend that has been forgotten by everyone except those who despise him with a passion, I have political bona fides galore. At Ball State, I wasn’t just playing O-line and reconfiguring the offense for my coaches. I was quite active on the student government scene. For instance, I talked my boy Duane into running for Student Senate, he lost badly, but I gained an insider’s perspective into the underbelly of government. America, I know politics.

John McCain, like Jeff Garcia, needs an able back-up due to his advancing age. Instead he goes and picks some woman I wouldn’t hire to run a petting zoo. Jeff George is way more qualified than Sarah Palin. Fact: the Fightin’ Illini dress more players than the entire population of Wasilla, Alaska. Look it up. She doesn’t even know what the Bush Doctrine is. Never mind that there is no such thing as the Bush Doctrine, she looked like Charlie Gibson asked her to solve some Chinese algebra.

Proper leadership demands improvisation when circumstances require. Jeff George once left his playbook in back of his El Camino during our junior year, but still improvised well enough to beat Bedford North Lawrence. Let me tell you about the Jeff George Doctrine: everyone goes deep and he airs shit out. Sounds like a strategy that will mend our fractured nation.

On the Democratic side, it vitally important we have a solid VP. You see, Barack Obama grew up without a father in his household; therefore he almost certainly lacks the skills to be President or a quarterback. I realize this may sound harsh, but Americans had been coddling Obama long enough, he needs to needs to be told the truth. In a perfect world, he would take his bling and his posse and settle for a Cabinet position—most likely Housing & Urban development.

With the cool under pressure leadership of Jeff George, we could rest assured knowing that a quality Commander-in-Chief was only a heartbeat away. Plus if George were to be elected, I guaran-damn-tee he will engage in no bojanglin’ whatsoever.

Around The Web