Is It Too Early to Mourn? Is It Too Late to Ride?

09.20.06 11 years ago 29 Comments

Anybody who spends a fair ammount of time around here is familiar with my uncompromising love of the Washington Redskins. They are like family, they are the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. There’s no doubt that I invest far too much passion into the team, but I have my reasons. All the torture is worthwhile for the one moment when everything clicks into place and all is right in the world (just like alcoholism).

It is this passion that has driven me to write an open letter to the team that means way too much to me. Sadly i feel a bit like Jerry Maguire right now, I’m about to tell the complete truth for the very first time…by the way, I fucking hate Tom Cruise and Danny can’t change that. While this letter is directed to the team it should also resonate with fans and critics alike. Simply put, it couldn’t be more “open” if it were matched up in single coverage with Kenny Wright.

To My Last Dutchess,

Gentlemen, it’s time to be completely honest with ourselves, we’re in trouble. I’m sick and tired of hearing the pros and cons Al Saunders’ alleged 700 page playbook. The next time our friend Steve Czaban so much as mentions it on the radio I will drive my car into the Potomac (I’m scared of Anacostia). Granted it’s a complex offense but it’s not that great a departure from what we tried (and often failed) to do in the recent past. I have complete faith in the system as a whole, to me the problem here is trust. The coaching staff doesn’t trust the quarterback and the quarterback doesn’t trust himself; all of this is warranted.

Mark Brunell seems like a good guy and in the past he’s been a good quarterback. That being said, he’s a fucking shell of an NFL quarterback and at this point he’s outlived his usefulness like a Jesus loving version of Barbaro. We knew this time was coming when Chris Berman upstaged Paul Tagliabue and Jason Campbell became one of us.

The only reason Brunell is still our quarterback is because of our playoff expectations. Obviously our chances for success aren’t going to be that high with an untested de facto rookie running the team. What’s recently become obvious is that we aren’t doing shit with Brunell (who’s beginning to remind me of a Dennis Quaid character…only less talented). No team can ever be successful with a quarterback who lacks the arm and the balls to rocket the ball over he middle (he’s like the anti-Tek Jansen). Now we just need the brilliant and stubborn coaching staff to man-up and make the switch. I think we all know what last year would have been like if Coach Gibbs had let Ramsey waste another season.

Of course not everything can be placed on Brunell’s decrepit shoulders. Both weeks the defense has shown flashes of the brilliance we all expected following last year’s top ten ranking. It’s just too bad that this unit will continue to suffer from a lack of depth, a healthy dose of stupidity, and two weak links. Our two big offseason additions to the defense were Adam Archuletta and Andre Carter. That probably could have worked out better.

Arch is measty against the run but any time he drops into coverage I feel like we’re about to get Rumphed. We’re gonna have to cover for his shortcomings which means Sean needs to stop decapitating people via face mask long enough to cover somebody (he’s either crazy or stupid but it scares TO…and me).

Andre, you’re another matter entirely. I’ve never seen a guy that looked more like a dominant pass rusher in my life. Sadly I’ve never seen such a pussy for a defensive end either. If he’s going to keep letting running backs run through his arms and getting stood up by linemen I’m going to start a campaign to run him out of town Wilbon style (kir royale optional but encouraged). Gregg needs to sit his ass down, I don’t care if he looks like Tyson Beckford if he’s gonna tackle like a male model (even if he is really really ridiculously good looking). If we can’t generate a rush without blitzing from the secondary we’re going to get used to seeing the back of Kenny Wright’s jersey.

If Campbell can contribute and the team can get healthy for good (we’re nothing without Portis and Springs) the season doesn’t have to be a loss. We’ve got such a dynamic group of talented players and coaches that we should be kicking the shit out of dysfunctional bitches like Dallas more often than not. Given the nature of our injuries and our crippling quarterback play it’s hard to envision the playoffs. Regardless, i will remain eternally optimistic in my heart regardless of what my brain may tell me (I don’t like it and it doesn’t like me).

Faithfully Yours,

The Unsilent Majority

P.S. If you’re as despondent as me you can find solace in this great video that was posted by our friend Chris at Saved By the Blog

Sorry for the length/relative seriousness of this post. It’s my only catharsis…otherwise I’d have to kill myself.

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