J.J. Watt Continues To Be NFL John Cena

07.08.14 3 years ago 41 Comments

Because he HUSTLES so hard and it does it with LOYALTY and RESPECT.

Shared by retired linebacker Ben Leber, this anecdote is supposedly Watt’s response to his teammates making fun of him for having no social life. The reason Watt doesn’t get out often is because he’s just too busy working and rising and grinding to being the best football player he can be. He works so hard people make fun of him for working hard. Ha ha, the humor of rigor.

While, sure, it’s commendable to commit so much time to your profession and Watt is assuredly a great player, the statement also feeds into that sportswriter and ownership ideal that an NFL player must do nothing ever but workout then eat, sleep and shit gametape. If you’re discovered having a social life, even in the off-season, you’re clearly just a goldbricking bust waiting to happen. To succeed is to be a joyless automaton.

In the meantime, I continue to maintain that Watt is the perfect NFL John Cena. They’re both super strong white guys who wear dog tags despite never serving in the military and are beloved by children. In fact, the only thing that keeps the comparison from truly working is that, unlike Cena, Watt doesn’t inexplicably win all the time. Oh, and he doesn’t call people Jack.

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