Jared Allen Done Caught a Case of the Schisms

08.28.09 8 years ago 28 Comments


What’s the best way to quash a rumor of organizational discord? If you’re a bunch of True Blue Collar Amurricans like Brittfar and Jared Allen (who looks like a Squidbilly with his hair like that), it’s pretending not to know the meaning of fancy-dancy words like schism, because any locution that doesn’t end in a apostrophe isn’t worth knowing. Gunslingin’? That’s a word. DUIin’? ‘nother good one. Huntin’ for water fowl with Purple Jesus an’ my smellhound? Best believe that’s one long compound word of awesome.

And yet because of Brandon Marshall, these aren’t even the most monstrous diptards in the news today. I blame the schisms!

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