Jerome Felton: Dollar Menuing While Intoxicated

06.05.12 5 years ago 11 Comments

Though the second-degree DWI arrest of Jerome Felton occurred early on Saturday, technically about a day prior to the Justin Blackmon blackout fest, the news of it is coming out just now, so while it might seem like Felton was inadvertently trying to one-up Blackmon for boozy high jinx, it’s actually the other way around.

Where this story stands out is that the new Vikings fullback was arrested in a McDonald’s drive-thru in Minnesota. That angle makes for great salacious news nuggets, as well as bad nugget puns. The derp that keeps on derping. The arrest also marks the first such NFL-related fast food incident since then-Lions defensive line coach Joe Cullen was arrested for being naked in a Wendy’s drive-thru back in 2006. Cullen later got a DUI and now coaches in Jacksonville, where can now swap tales with Blackmon.

In an e-mail Monday, an Eden Prairie police spokesperson wrote that police responded to the McDonald’s on Prairie Center Drive at approximately 3 a.m. Saturday because of a report of an intoxicated driver waiting in the drive-thru lane.

While the DWI part is lamentable, can’t fault Felton for his choice of drunk eating. McDonald’s food being just about 100 percent sodium is near ideal for soaking up alcohol. In that sense, he chose wisely. So that’s nice.

Anyway, hope it went down like this:

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