So Long And Thanks For All The Dick Jokes

07.31.11 6 years ago 84 Comments

I feel like we’ve all done this before.

But it’s true. This is my last post at KSK.

Having co-founded this site and having spent the last five years being part of one of the best sports blogs ever, leaving isn’t easy. I’ve thought about this for a month and I just have no idea how to appropriately announce the end of my time here as a writer. But I suppose it’s a good time to look back at some of the insight, humor and depravity for which I was responsible. And I had some. These weren’t necessarily my best posts, but they are a lot of my favorites.

There was some football talk on this football blog. I had some rants about the NFL’s overtime format. A few, actually. I wrote a “guide” on the sport for Czech folks, sounded off on Stallworth v. Vick, and that thing that coaches do when they call timeout right before a game-deciding kick.

I made fun of Baltimore, New Orleans, Cincinnati, Cincinnati again, and made another list of awesome cities you should visit.

A favorite of my friend Ed is the Chris Mortensen/Bang Bus mashup. If I ever use “other” in a headline, it probably has something to do with porn.

I wrote some really odd obits-and-such for Chris Henry, Teri Schiavo, the racehorse Eight Belles, Falco, Tim Russert and Trent Green’s career. There was also this Dr. Z post pre-stroke and this Billy Mays post right before Mays died. Have we forgotten about Billy Mays yet? Yes? Forget I said anything.

I flipped the bird to “great fans“, Netflix haters, and the “American Gladiators” reboot. I even made fun of Peter King before it was fashionable, FJM-ing this post in 2006 and again with this probably-not-outdated Outlook Calendar. I remember Outlook. Kinda.

I did a couple posts with some decent characters, and then abandoned them like red-headed children. Charles Haley, The History Of Pro Football, Tom Brady’s baby, Gilbert Gottfried, and Stephen Hawking were just a few of those. Oh, and this 2 Penguins animation which never caught on like I’d hoped it would.

I did a few podcasts, and those will still be going on, though they won’t be posted here. Our Super Bowl show last Feburary was pretty sweet; we had Jason Witten and that TV Azteca lady, Inez Sainz. In terms of pure filthiness, this podcast–the Nasty Fetish draft, set a standard for perversion that we have yet to eclipse.

Oh, quick question: Do these count as black jokes?

And finally, the piece de resistance, the Earth Hour diary. No, that never actually happened.

I’ll still be around…someplace. In the meantime, I encourage you to follow me on Twitter and on Facebook so I can keep you posted on what’s happening next for me. But I really just want to thank Drew, Matt, Jack, Mike and Flubby for five great years together. It was a privilege to be part of such a talented group. And thanks to Jarret and Brian at Uproxx for making me the world’s first professional donkey porn enthusiast. If only I could fit that on a business card…

Finally, thanks to all of you out there in internet-land for reading my thoughts on the NFL and everything else. I think this site has been part of a revolution in the way fans and media think about pro football, and that change has been almost entirely positive. Folks in Alphabet City and at 280 Park are realizing that they can’t pull the same old shit without better acknowledging their customers and what we want out of football.

I think the resolution to the recent lockout is evidence of that. I think the success of this site is evidence of that. Being part of this site and writing for you and to be part of this movement in media has been an honor, and I hope that you’ll follow me into what I decide to unleash upon this God-forsaken English-speaking world next. Seriously, you guys are cool. Let’s do it again soon.

Until then…I’ll see you on the internet.


–Josh Zerkle

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