Kevin Everett Meast of the Week — Week 6: Just Keepin’ It Real, Yo

10.17.07 10 years ago 18 Comments

This week’s Kevin Everett update is the best one yet: the Bills tight end with the broken neck is now walking on his own.

Allow me to rephrase that: HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. To recap, this is what doctors predicted:

And this is what’s going on:

Yeah yeah yeah, the doctors get some credit too, but there is no denying that Kevin Everett is about as measty as a human being can be. Stay tuned for next week’s Everett update, in which he does one-armed push-ups and satisfies a nurse and a candy striper simultaneously.

There was plenty of meastiness around the rest of the NFL this week, to the point that we actually felt the need to recognize several of the individual efforts we witnessed.

Third runner-up is Marion Barber, whose two-yard, two-point-saving run is reminiscent of Barry Sanders — if Barry ran over people instead of around them:

Second runner-up: Devin Hester. With two 80-yard-plus scores, Hester reiterated that (a) all offensive plays should be designed to get him the ball until Cedric Benson can get more than two yards a carry, and (b) any special teams coach who elects to kick to him is interested in working elsewhere next year.

Our first runner-up is vintage 2006 LaDainian Tomlinson, who torched the Raiders for 198 yards and all four Chargers touchdowns. Fun fact: Dan Shanoff has LT2/LDT in our Yahoo! fantasy league, and he still lost.

Predictably, here’s this week’s Meast:

We needn’t go over numbers or game impact here; however, I feel compelled to respond to Michael David Smith’s missive (or should I say dismissive?) that asked Is Adrian Peterson Overrated?

Now, I craft my responses to fellow bloggers carefully. The person known as “Matt Ufford” is a surprisingly affable sort who rarely, if ever, publishes a negative response to a neighbor in the blogorhood.

Captain Caveman, however, is a real asshole.

And as Captain Caveman, on behalf of the KSK Gay Mafia, I can say, “Hey, MDS. Slate called. They were looking for a contrarian poindexter to stir up pointless debate.” And so we respond to the Tim Duncan of blogging, FanHouse’s blandly efficient MVP, thusly: No, Adrian Peterson is not overrated. He’s really fucking good. He’s called PURPLE JESUS for a reason.

You godless heathen.

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