Kids Write The Darndest Things

12.18.13 4 years ago 29 Comments


This week, Bengals punter Kevin Huber was placed on IR after suffering a broken jaw and a cracked vertebrae on an illegal and unflagged block on Sunday night by Steelers special teams player Terence Garvin. Suffice it to say, a lot of people feel bad for Huber, but no one has his back like this 7-year-old.

Dear Kevin,

I hope you feel better soon. I am mad at the Steelers because you are my #1 player. I am 7 years old and love the Bengals and Bearcats. I know you played for the Bearcats and Bengals and I love the teams. I hope that Steeler player loses his house and has to live in his car.

Get well soon,

Nicholas Andrew Johnson.

That’s a ride-or-die little kid. For what it’s worth, Garvin “only” makes $405,000 per year, so while he isn’t likely to lose his house (if he even owns one), the impending fine should still set him back more than it would your typical NFL veteran. Hope that’s enough, little Nicky.

Ah, but there’s more.


A 6-year-old 49ers fan has been writing trash talk letters to his favorite team’s opponents throughout the season. His dad sent this one he wrote before their last game against the Seahawks to Deadspin. Leave it to Jim Harbaugh to recruit a sea monster to kill for his team. Always looking for an edge, that guy.

“Seahawks, a sea serpent is watching the game. If you win, it will eat the fans and eat you. A virus will come into your throat and give you the flu. You’ll probably need a flu shot at Fred Meyer. No Seahawks beyond this point.”

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