Kill Kill Kill Theater: NFL Player Included For Topicality

05.13.09 8 years ago 44 Comments

Jared Allen, he of the phenomenal ass and the Kenny Powers haircut, gets to “feel like freakin’ Geronimo right now” by spearing an elk from above. With no regular old spear, mind you, but one-a them fancy Samburu Spears. Beats sniping wolves from a helicopter, that’sferdamnsure. Jared, once he reaches the downed elk after it’s done staggering toward a place to die, proclaims that he’s now addicted to hunting. Should he lump this into his melange of other addictions, a Death Race 2000-like league of competitive homicidal death cars is possible in our lifetime. Leonard Little, Donte Stallworth – get your hunting game tight. Shit’s on.

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