It sounded like a headline ripped from The Onion – Pope Francis Has Secret Rendezvous With Kim Davis – so naturally the news was met with a ton of skepticism and plenty of jokes. After all, this news came hot on the heels of the Kentucky clerk’s attorneys being caught in a big, fat lie about a prayer session in Peru, so there’s no way in heck that Cool Pope was actually meeting with the oft-married opponent of gay marriage, right? Wrong. Vatican representatives eventually confirmed that a meeting between the pope and Davis did take place on Tuesday night for about 15 minutes, and his Holiness told Mike Huckabee’s campaign prop to “stay strong” before thanking her for “her courage.” Davis was accompanied by her second/fourth husband, but it is unknown whether or not he wore his dress overalls.
The elected official told ABC News that her special meeting with the pope made her cry, adding, “I had tears coming out of my eyes,” for people who don’t know how crying works. In yet another completely accurate statement, Davis said, “I’m just a nobody, so it was really humbling to think he would want to meet or know me.” When previously asked about Davis’ use of religion as a scapegoat for denying the rights of others, Pope Francis flipped the script and said that Davis was being deprived of her right to be a “conscientious objector.” It almost makes you think, if you’re not too busy already thinking, “What the f*ck, Cool Pope?”
For more on the inexplicable ongoing adventures of Kim Davis, anchors Tom Storey and Briana Lane weigh in on today’s episode of The Desk.