Kommentariat Comments of the Week: October 15-21, 2014

10.22.14 3 years ago 40 Comments
Certificate Of Merit Oct 12

KSK

While the Comments of the Week post tends to focus on the fine comedy produced by Kommentariat or the serious reactions to sad news around the league, it’s worth noting that some of the best discussions in the comments are just internet pals talking about common experiences, like in the discussion had last week about the number of concussions Kommenters guessed they have suffered in their lifetimes. While I’m not saying you need to be knocked in the head to enjoy KSK, it appears that it certainly doesn’t hurt.

I am your host Sarah Sprague and these are your Comments of the Week for Rocktober 15-21, 2014. I’m guessing I’ve had at least three or four concussions and dozens of dingers, including that time I slipped off the blocks before a swim meet. Pain fades, but embarrassment is forever.

Texans-Steelers MNF Live Blog, Second Half

Lori Petty

HOW DOES RYAN FITZPATRICK STILL HAVE A FUCKING JOB???? Look at that hobo, expressionlessly patting Big Ben on the back!

(Reply) Knight Dehumidifier

Life is hard for Fitzpatrick. I mean, what can a college degree from Harvard even get you in this day and age?

Texans-Steelers MNF Live Blog

(Frankly, this bothers me too.)

William Charles Schneider

FUCK YOU UPROXX I DO NOT POST TOO FAST

(Reply) Otto Man

Seriously.

YOU’RE A FUCKING COMPUTER. IF I’M TYPING TOO FAST, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

KLEARINGHOUSE: Trouble In Bearadise

Otto Man

The guy on the left appears to be hitting on the bear.

“Hey, baby, what’s ursine?”

Washington fans are broken. As proof here’s a crazy bird lady

Old School Zero

Dan Snyder is now putting together a pro-team-name PR junket featuring Sits With Biting Crow

Broncos Beat 49ers Badly Enough to Bring Forth Blaine Gabbert

Breesus Disciple

BTW, that stat is incorrect: Two players have caught a pass from both Favre and Manning.

– Hank Baskett
– Tracy Porter in 2010.

Now it’s true, Porter’s were INTs. But he caught them.

NFL Celebrates Passing Record With Dumb Shirt

Uncle Phil

A whole lot of people in Denver just found a new Hotmail password.

Darnell Dockett 1, Raiders Fans 0

WhyEaglesWhy

Now I want to see a remake of the scene from Love Actually where Rick Grimes tells Keira Knightley that he’s a creepy stalker, only with Darnell Dockett.

37 Items You Need in the Event of a Cowboys Winning Apocalypse

I love it when you call me Bob Poppa

Take the uncooked pie filling and cover it in Fritos. Stick it in an oven preheated to 325. Bake for 20 minutes. Take out of oven, let cool, then eat. Later experience large bowel movement.

Congratulations….by making cheap turnovers, then shitting yourself, you have successfully encapsulated the Cowboy playoff experience.

Referee Helps Patriots Player Before Field Goal Block, Jets Fans Assume Conspiracy

I love it when you call me Bob Poppa

So count Jets fans, in addition to Pete Carroll, as people who believe in Hightower conspiracies.

At Least You Tried, Jets

Danny Husk as Blade Rogers

Are Thursday nights better?
Or do you cry of shame?
Will it make it easier on you now
With Fireman Ed to blame?

You say, one piece, at Metlife
Draft needs to make it allright
Run love, Ivory can spare it,
Revis leaves you baby, prepare for it…?

Did they miss the point of
Having Rex always run his mouth?
You act like you have won one,
but not since Weeb flashed his clout.

Well it’s too late tonight
To drag Wayne Hunter out into the light.
We’re numb, about the game
Get to forget who to cover, not another ZOOOOOOONE

Have you come here for some parking?
With a sixty dollar overhead?
Have you dreamed of Purple Jesus
Running with “Jets” on his head?

Did Joe drink too much?
More than a lot.
Idzik please do something
with Geno’s roster spot?

There’s one magic title game
But a turd’s been laid since the days of Ewbank.
You say, draft him from Temple, Love the Gholston, ugh…
The draft should prevent a bad thing from going on
But people keep holding on, but all they got is Dedric Ward.

ESPN The Magazine Wants To Tell Us About The Women Jim Irsay Had On The Side

Sweaty Gretchen

Unless they have concrete proof, it’s….all Irsay.

Colin Kaepernick cleared of using racial slur, still fined by NFL

Scotchnaut

“Let me explain the fine in a way you might understand, ‘Su checkbook es mi checkbook’. [whispers to aide] The guy’s a Mexican, right?”

-The NFL

Brian Hoyer Begs LeBron James, The King of Akron, For His Support

Make It Snow

I heard a scout mailed Brian Hoyer a playbook with a $100 bill in the back of it, and Brian Hoyer mailed back three twenties, three tens, and two fives.

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