Holy hell, it’s hot outside. But the more uncomfortable it becomes outside the closer we get to 350 pound men suffering through two-a-days. And when that time comes, it becomes socially acceptable (relatively speaking) to start obsessing over your upcoming fantasy football draft. Sadly, we’re still weeks away from that, but it doesn’t mean we can’t get in the spirit of things a bit early.
That’s why this week you’ll be drafting your all-time fantasy football team. It’s pretty simple, really. You pick a player and a year, wait for at least ten people to pick after you, then select again. By the end you should have filled out a starting fantasy football lineup (1 QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 DEF/ST), and whichever commenter can claim to have the highest point total (1 point for 10 yards rushing/receiving, 1 for 25 yards passing, 6 for rushing/receiving touchdowns, 4 for passing touchdowns, -1 for interceptions) can declare themselves the winner of this furtive time wasting activity.
The ceremonial first pick of the draft is…OJ in 1975! Say what you want about the murder and that other crime for which he was actually convicted, that ’75 season was fantasy magic. That was the year he amassed 2243 yards from scrimmage and 23 touchdowns in a 14 game season. Extrapolate that over the modern 16 game season and you get nearly 414 fantasy points (granted, it’s not the all-time record, but the difference is negligible).
Now it’s your turn. Please pay attention to the rules. And no biting.