At KSK, we’re painstakingly committed to creating a list of all the barely relevant early free agency transactions, losing that list, then reporting the results from memory.
- Gus Frerotte and Isaac Bruce released by the Rams. Who will Gus start two games for next season? You know some hapless team will pick him up and it will be long before David Carr and Byron Leftwich get a look. That’s right, Drew, get that Frerotte’s Fr’real shirt back from Mottram.
- Tedy Bruschi decided to come back for one more season as a Patriot. Having already lost out on Zach Thomas sweepstakes, having Bruschi calling it a career would’ve put the Patriots below the number of required white linebackers as laid out in the charter of the Commonwealth of Massholia.
- The Browns signed Horse Balls to a long-term deal! Brady Quinn doesn’t think it so FABULOUTH.
- The Chiefs let Ty Law go, only to watch his wheelchair careen wildly down a steep hill. Fuckers.
- The Vikings signed Madieu Williams, a former member of the Bengals secondary, for $33 million. Which is only slightly less disturbing than having two former Terps in your starting D.
- Jets trade for Kris Jenkins, trade away Jonathan Vilma to Saints. Wow, that’s a lot of players who used to be good.
- Kawika Mitchell signs with the Bills, but really, they just want his ring.
- Jerry Porter to the Jaguars. So, naturally, the Jags are still looking for a receiver.
- The Redskins, meanwhile, are expressing interest in possibly signing former Seahawks receiver D.J. Hackett.
Says flubby: “Wow, do they have enough lights on the scoreboard to record all the points that Hackett and Reche Caldwell are going to score?”
Well, if not, that big stupid marching band they have can always form a zero.