KSK Kommenter Draft: Rewrite a Television Show’s Ending

08.09.13 4 years ago 133 Comments


It took me five years to start watching Breaking Bad. My dad, an OG Homicide fan, urged me to watch The Wire from day one. I resisted, and didn’t catch up until two summers ago. I watched the first six episodes of Newsroom.

The point is, I’m terrible at determining which shows I will like. Now that I have spent a month inhaling episodes like I was Badger at a blue meth buffet, I’m ready to watch the last episodes of one of television’s great dramas over the course of the next eight Sundays with all of the non-stupids.

All of which brings us to this week’s draft topic. Imagine you could take over as a show runner at this particular point in any television show’s history. The show you choose is approaching its end, and you get to decide how everything wraps up. Do you kill off Carmella/Skylar/Megan because, ugh, wives are such a drag, right? Quit killing everyone’s buzz and let your men be horrible people life-ruining people. What a bunch of Barbara Hersheys.

Seeing as how Breaking Bad is both the inspiration and my current obsession, I’ll stick with that for the first pick.

[Spoilers to follow]

In my version of the last eight episodes, Hank realizes that he is powerless to pursue Walt because doing so would destroy his professional reputation/life. Meanwhile, Walt’s boastful nature gets him in trouble when word of his deeds gets back to the Fring family in Chile. They seek revenge and takeout both Skylar and that cute baby (how many babies have they gone through?).

Walt Jr. sulks over breakfast and demands to know why no one will tell him what happened to his family. Hank agrees to back off and take a cut of Walt’s money pile, as long as Walt fills him in on the whole story. Walt agrees, but succumbs to cancer before he can come clean.

Jesse retires to the islands, Walt Jr. eats more breakfas, then Lydia does a sexy strip tease just for me. DON’T YOU DARE WATCH.

Oh, and somehow Badger hooks up with Saul, because Badger absolutely has to be part of any potential spin-off.

Pick your show and your ending in the comments.

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