Welcome to the final KSK Mock Draft before next week’s actual NFL Draft. This time we’re going with a topic inspired by Funbag reader Alison. We’ll each make our picks for which NFL player we would want to be for one day. It’s like kind of like Freaky Friday only we won’t worry about them living our lives for a day, and Lindsay Lohan will be well past her sexual peak. :(
And to be clear, all players past and present are elligible, but you’d be living their life in present time. So if you want Joe Namath, you’re getting him with his droopy old man balls.
Note: We are keeping this draft to one round.
1. UM – Rob Gronkowski
The hardest part of this pick was deciding on which picture was most Gronk. Sorry, Bibi. GRONK GRONK GRONK!
2. Sarah – Deion Sanders
Deion Sanders. Frankly, he seems like he has a pretty good life and I’ve always wanted to look good in a suit.
3. Flubby – Larry Fitzgerald
4. Drew – Adrian Peterson
5. Ape – Mark Sanchez
I’ll go with Mark Sanchez. Rich, attractive and no one expects anything good out of you.
Draft thoughts: I’d be curious to see who everyone else would have taken number one. I have to think I wouldn’t have been the only person to go the Gronk route. Everywhere he goes is a party, and my wife even said I could fuck stripper types if I was Gronk for a day. So let’s find a magic fortune cookie and make this happen. Sarah went with Deion so that she could look all dapper in a suit, but I bet she spends a good amount of that day examining her new body. At least that’s what I would do if I were a lady athlete for a day. Flubby gets a day of hiking and sightseeing, which would be a nice break from daily life. Drew would probably also spend much of his day examining his new body. And Ape finishes things off by making a good point. As long as he sticks to Manhattan or LA, I bet he’d have a great time as Nacho.
Add your picks in the comments, and feel free to get creative. Just think, you could pick Ray Lewis and hold a press conference admitting to your role in the whole [makes stabby motion] thing.