KSK Mock Draft: Fictional Party Crashing

04.24.09 9 years ago 230 Comments

Welcome to the final KSK Mock Draft before the actual 2009 NFL Draft. For this week’s installment we’ll be drafting party scenes from film that we would like to have attended. There are no real rules for this draft, although the party you select has to be an actual party with guests other than yourself and some naked chick (oh, and no porn).

Everybody’s honorable mention.

Once a party from a particular film has been drafted all other parties from that film are off the board. The order is as follows.

1. Punte
2. Ape
3. Drew
4. Unsilent
5. Ufford
6. Flubby

It should be noted that Random.com’s list randomizing feature hates Flubby for some reason. It’s probably a Kentucky fan. Continue after the jump for the results, then play along in the comments.

1. Punte- Toga party from Animal House


2. Ape- Boogie Nights New Year’s Party

If you can get over William H. Macy shooting his wife and himself, which I can, seems like a good time. Plus, the movie turns really depressing after this, so I know I got in at the right time.

That’s already two off of my list right off the bat. This should be a contentious draft.

3. Drew- The Moon Tower Party from Dazed And Confused

“There’s a new fiesta in the making as we speak.”

Until my graduation week, I don’t think I ever got to go to a big high school party in an open field where people got drunk and smoked up and all that shit. I so, so, so badly wish that had been a regular part of my youth.

4. The “Save the Pit” party from PCU

Tonight at the Pit, Everyone Gets Laid.

Ufford: The Ice Storm swingers party. RAWR! Kidding. I’ll have something soon. Sorry, I’m fighting a hangover this morning.

Punte: Uff drafts the volleyball scene in Top Gun.

5. Ufford- Old School

Can’t say I’m enamored with this pick. I was really looking for something with more drugs and strippers and gambling.

Hey, Snoop played, hot high school chicks showed up, and there were whippets. You could do worse.

6. Flubby- Caddy Day at the Bushwood CC

Tough call as there are a few good party scenes in Caddyshack (dinner party, yacht christening, post-match celebration).

This will certainly be the shortest lived party drafted today.

7. Flubby- Connie and Carlo’s wedding reception in The Godfather

Awesome spread, live band, plus Clemenza gets drunk and makes a fool of himself– then I’d get to hit up Vito Corleone for a favor and he has to say yes.

Damn, I really wanted the wedding party so I could ask Vito to whack somebody. Excellent value pick.

8. Ufford- Samuel L. Jackson’s blues performance in Black Snake Moan

Hot, sweaty bar in the sticks with Christina Ricci and sexy black chicks getting down to motherfuckin’ SAM JACKSON.

9. Unsilent- The Halloween Party from How High

Sure there would be plenty of Harvard douchebags, but there were plenty of hot chicks and Cypress Hill performed in a fucking dorm. Bonus points if I can get my hands on some of their OG Kush.

10. Drew- The orgy from Eyes Wide Shut

Drew would just stand in the corner touching himself.

11. Ape- The player’s party from Any Given Sunday

Drugs, strippers, pro football players in Miami with Lawrence Taylor chainsawing a car in half .

Ufford: Dammit. THAT’S the kind of party I was looking for. Stupid brain.

12. Punte- The Playboy Mansion party in Beverly Hills Cop II

13. Punte- The Ewok party at the end of Return of the Jedi

There’s a plushies joke in here somewhere, I’m sure.

14. Ape- Bruce Wayne’s fundraiser in The Dark Knight

Have to hobnob with high society types for a while, but food will be good and the booze top notch. And the pay-off, of course, is that I get to watch Batman fight The Joker.

15. Drew- End of the world party, Rules of Attraction

Sex, drugs, hot coeds in lingerie. Fucking Colby College.

16. Unsilent- Tony Lacey’s party in Annie Hall

“I forgot my mantra.”

At this point in the draft Ufford attempts to select the orgy from Eyes Wide Shut that Drew already drafted implicitly.

Ufford: Oh. You mean the time where you just attached an image and DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING? Yeah, that’s my fault.

I hate it when Mommy and Daddy fight!

17. Ufford- Rudd and Rogen’s trip to Vegas from Knocked Up

Strippers and Cirque du Soleil on mushrooms.

I don’t think Rudd and Rogen’s trip qualifies as a party. Unless the guests were the chairs. But we’ll let this one slide, because it’s always a party with shrooms.

18. Flubby- The rave scene from Matrix Reloaded

Crappy movie and the scene ran too long– but looks like a real hootenanny.

Now it’s up to you to fill out the list in the comments. Please select one scene at a time and wait ten picks before selecting again. Nobody likes an asshole. And remember, starting next week the mock drafts will all be commenter driven. Knock yourselves out.

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