KSK Mock Draft: Solving A Historical Mystery

02.19.10 8 years ago 282 Comments

mystery machine

Grab some weed and a box of Scooby Snacks, because we’re hopping in the Mystery Machine for this week’s draft. The idea is to select the historical mystery that you most want solved once and for all. After that we turn it over to the commenters. Just remember to wait ten picks before selecting again.

The draft order is as follows…

1. Ufford
2. Flubby
3. Drew
4. Punte [Ed. note: Punte was unable to participate.]
5. Kogod
6. Ape

Ufford: Details of JFK’s assassination

Flubby: WTF really happened in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947

Drew: Did Jesus of Nazareth actually rise from the dead?

“I’d like empirical proof that this is bullshit, so Christians can shut the fucking fuck up.”

Flubby points out that proof does little to sway the true believers.

Kogod: What happened on Marco Polo’s journey to China?

Ape: What killed the dinosaurs?

Ape: Who was the actual author/authors behind Shakespeare’s collected works?

Kogod: How was the universe created?

If it’s anything like that shitty tv show I’m going to be really annoyed.

Drew: Was Marilyn Monroe murdered?

“I always picture JFK and Joe D conspiring to kill her.”

[Ed. note: Flubby was unable to make his second pick.]

Ufford: The Tunguska event (witnessed from a protective bubble).

Estimates of the energy of the blast range from 5 megatons of TNT (21 PJ)[6] to as high as 30 megatons of TNT (130 PJ)[7], with 10–15 megatons of TNT (42–63 PJ) the most likely[7]—roughly equal to the United States’ Castle Bravo thermonuclear bomb tested on March 1, 1954, about 1,000 times as powerful as the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima, Japan and about one-third the power of the Tsar Bomba, the largest nuclear weapon ever detonated.[8] The explosion knocked over an estimated 80 million trees over 2,150 square kilometres (830 sq mi). It is estimated that the shockwave from the blast would have measured 5.0 on the Richter scale. An explosion of this magnitude is capable of destroying a large metropolitan area.

/shreds air guitar

Your picks in the comment section. Tupac’s murder and the Voynich Manuscript are still on the board, so choose wisely.

And yes, parts of this did feel oddly familiar. Fuck.

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