The year was . . . Uh, well the year was 2014. But earlier 2014. Philadelphia was being terrorized by a man who would approach women in a sedan asking them to perform sex acts on him using Swiss cheese, who was quickly dubbed “The Swiss Cheese Pervert” by Philadelphia and the rest of the Internet — since this story was the stuff viral news is made of. Eventually the Swiss Cheese Pervert was identified as 42-year-old Chris Pagano, who was apprehended and charged with stalking, indecent exposure, and harassment; and that’s where our story more or less ended.
Until now, that is. A Philadelphia lady who goes by “Brynn Monsterhands” brought the Swiss Cheese Pervert out of retirement — albeit in Halloween costume form — last Friday for karaoke at Ray’s Happy Birthday Bar. This makes me sad because I was actually planning to go to Birthday Bar that night but was still in the throes of an awful head cold that ruined most of my week last week.
Anyway, Philly.com managed to catch up with Brynn, and here’s what she had to say about her ingenious costume:
“I’m a huge fan of bizarre and unusual news,” Monsterhands told us of the inspiration behind her costume. “So my fascination with the story plus my need for a Halloween costume equals me as the Swiss Cheese Pervert.”
That is not to say that Monsterhands was unconcerned with how some might react to the sensitive subject of parodying what is one of Philadelphia’s most odd sex criminals — quite the opposite, actually. She tells us that her mind was on the possible reactions she could face for the costume but ultimately found that people responded positively.
“This Halloween, I was pleasantly surprised,” she says. “People would ask me who I was, and when I told them, they either got a good laugh or had no idea. I sang karaoke [The Fugees “Killing Me Swissly”] in the costume and after my performance, a woman came up to me and said it was the best costume she’d seen all night.”
I don’t have anything else to say except that I don’t know Brynn Monsterhands but if I did I think she and I would be best friends. Here she is at Cheesesteak Vegas (a.k.a. Pat’s Steaks) later in the evening:
https://instagram.com/p/u1-pEAy2Gx/
(DJ Lars Karaoke via Philly.com)