Let’s Overanalyze On-Field Mannerisms!

09.16.13 4 years ago 10 Comments


Carson Palmer gave a fistbump to referee Pete Morelli on Sunday after the Lions defense was flagged for roughing the passer, a penalty that extended a Cardinals drive in the second half. That drive eventually ended in a field goal to cut the Lions’ lead to 21-19. It’s a telling gesture that Palmer and Morelli are clearly IN CAHOOTS, but have agreed to only let their collusion play out in ways that can be overcome by the victims if said victims are a good team capable of finishing out close games. Which the Lions are not.


Richard Sherman patted Jim Harbaugh on the butt at the end of the Sunday night blowout win over the 49ers. Some have said it was meant as a form of taunting his former coach. Others have said that Sherman just can’t resist since Harbs has a deceptively ample rear end for a white dude. But these people fail to notice that Sherman and Harbaugh are IN CAHOOTS. Simply observe the look Harbaugh shoots him. That’s totally the look of a man thinking, “What are you doing? Your carefree butt paddling is gonna give away the fact that we’re in cahoots and I lost this game on purpose!” Head coaches have the most cahoots tells of anyone on the field. Sicilians know this.


Matt Schaub was super chillin’ in the cahoots with the Titans defense. Look at this interception and tell me he wasn’t. But then Schaub got drunk or concussed or whatever it is ugly people do to live with their wretched features and the cahootin’ was put to an end. The Texans eventually won, which would sever the furtive and possible illegal arrangement that Schaub and the Titans share.


Tony Dungy believes homosexuality can be transmitted through physical contact. The only thing he is in cahoots with is God.

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