Here’s the best story about the best love triangle with the best lead ever.
Seriously, the lucky writer from Associated Press (which was republished by The News & Observer) who wrote this up must have rubbed their hands together in glee at getting to apply the AP’s dry language to a story like this.
Here’s the lead in all its glory:
A former meerkat expert at London Zoo was cleared Tuesday of assaulting a monkey handler in a love spat over a llama-keeper.
The meerkat expert is named Caroline Westlake, and the monkey handler (how do you get these jobs?) is Kate Saunders. Both had argued at a London Zoo Christmas party over a man both had dated, one llama keeper named Adam Davies. Saunders ended up with a cut on the cheek from a wineglass. Westlake said she had no memory of hitting her romantic rival with the glass.
Last year, a lower court ruled that Westlake had caused reckless injury to Saunders, but a High Court “quashed the conviction” on Tuesday. Hopefully both ladies can move on now; no dude is worth this, especially one who wrangles llamas.
(Via News & Observer)