Mike Florio Divination Watch 2K11

04.20.11 7 years ago 43 Comments

Remember when Mike Florio prophesized that the civilized world would be torn asunder by a pack of ravaging NFL players no longer reined in by the humanizing forces of owners and coaches? Of course you do, what with your womenfolk now carrying very athletic rape babies and your home demolished by an errant launched shoulder tackle.

Everything he predicted has come to pass, and now we exist in the post-apocalypse, which is like post-modern, but more metal. The latest proof comes in the form of Falcons safety William Moore, who terrorized the populace by speeding, driving with a suspended license and failing to appear in court. Please put this in pseudo-context for us, Sage Florio!

Yes, the lockout lock-up continues.

It’s the 10th player arrest since the lockout began 40 days ago. That’s an average of (calculator on) one arrest every four days.

THE HTC HERO FROM SPRINT WITH BUILT-IN CALCULATOR APP DOES NOT LIE! That is one very ominous calculation! How does it compare to previous off-seasons, during which no lockout existed? What? Why are you asking questions when you should be fleeing and cowering? Would you have your last moments of life wasted pleading for comprehensive reporting? Enjoy the hereafter, doof!

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