Nasty Fetish Tournament Regional Semifinal — Christmas Ape Regional No. 9 vs. No. 13

03.30.09 8 years ago 20 Comments

In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Regional Semifinal action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.

9. Vore

Literal Meaning: “This is arousal by the thought of being eaten by someone, eating someone else, or watching someone eat somebody else. It is called “vore” for short. Perhaps this is related to cannibalism, but how someone develops a fetish like this, I really could not even speculate upon. It involves pure fantasy (at least hopefully it does), since it would be very difficult to make any of the aforementioned situations reality.”

The Intarwebs says: They worry for the fate of digested goldfish.

Notable Advocates: Mark Stepnoski, Benicio Del Toro, Tony Jaa

13. Stoma Fucking

Literal Meaning: “One who fantasizes about penetrating a surgically creating orifice, either in the in the colon or the esophagus.”

This pamphlet says: “The simplest problem facing the ostomist is of the appliance impeding easy movement and getting in the way. If the appliance is emptied before intercourse it can be folded up and trapped down with some tape. Keep a nice cotton cover over the appliance at all times as wearing a cover stops it rubbing on yours and your partners skin. If you use a transparent bag the cover hides the contents.”

Notable Advocates: Topher Grace, Zach Braff, Phil Hellmuth

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