Nasty Fetish Tournament Regional Semifinal — Christmas Ape Regional No. 6 VS. No. 7

03.30.09 8 years ago 27 Comments

In an obviously misguided attempt at mocking the playoff structure of the NCAA tournament, we’re inviting readers to enjoy matchups of actual fetishes in a voter-powered tournament, culminating in April with the Nasty Fetish Final Four. That tournament continues today with Regional Semifinal action. Remember, you’re voting for what you consider the more nasty fetish.

6. Macrophilia

Literal Meaning: “A sexual fantasy involving domination by giants, primarily giant women. Variants include metamorphic fantasies; the shrinking of men/women so that average-sized people appear relatively huge, or more commonly, ordinary humans growing to giant size.”

Salon says: “You never forget your first glimpse of the Statue of Liberty. A towering monument to freedom, democracy and the big-girl aesthetic, she looms over New York Harbor, 225 tons of womanhood, 151 feet from toes to torch tip, her head high and huge, her massive bosom outthrust to welcome the tired, the poor, the huddled masses. For immigrants arriving on America’s shore, the statue is the earth mother of international acceptance. For macrophiles, she’s something else — the ultimate sex goddess.”

Notable Advocates: Jude Law, Del tha Funkee Homosapien, Steve Jobs

7. Menophilia

Literal Meaning: “Described as being sexually excited by a female during menstruation. This can be further described as people who are turned on by the smell, image, taste or feel of the blood expelled during menstruation.”

The Intarwebs say: You’re quite the catch among insecure types in Scotland. But you’ll have to open your wallet.

Notable Advocates: Timbaland, Tucker Max, Josh Elliott

Around The Web