NFL Analyst Power Rankings (Official) #4- Merril Hoge

05.23.13 4 years ago 64 Comments

I’m PFT Commenter and I’m counting down the 10 sharpest minds in the industry. Where will your favorite analyst or sports person land? (probably not high)

Ranked on: Infotainment value, being a pros pro and strength of takes

4. Merril Hoge

Infotainment Value: 10

The man is not only a living legend but he dresses just as sharp as a tack. You have to take your hat off anytime someone invents a position and then gives complete +total justification with facts, thats what Merril did with the Factorback (more on that later). The Factorback=exactly like the element that government scientists keep building doomsday machines to find God- it was right in front of our noses,,we were just waiting on someone brilliant enough to explain it to us.

Being a Pros Pro: 10

Merril Hoge literaly died during a football game which not to be insensitive is pretty cool considering he survived. Then he calls Kurt Warner out “like a boss” (my new catchphrase) for saying Warners kids wont play football because its to dangerous. Uh yea Mr Warner its Hoge on line one he says while his kids are playing chess, his kids are gonna grab them by the facemask.

Strength of Takes: 5

Merril thinks Tebows a bad QB thats a new fresh interesting take. Sike. Step it up question and his sexuality like a Man or something,,I want takes that make me either have a orgasim or fight my roomate and Merrills takes are right down the middle which is very confusing for me as a audience.

Best career moment: Probably the invention of the Factorback as a new position which is probly the most important thing of all time to know about when your watching a NFL game so Im going to explain it to you. There are 3 key elements in identifying a Factorback:

1. Padlevel. You want a guy who runs behind his pads,not above them. When your at padlevel you square up and execute at the point of impact- Im talking hat on a hat. For a example see Peyton Hillises padlevel.

2. North-South. “Quit lookin for a hole and MAKE one!” is what i typicly yell if Im at a game or watching one on TV or catching up on some highlights. Factorbacks get downhill in a hurry they know that if your going to run like Barry Sanders your going to be a flash in the pan just like him. For a example of what not to do see Marcus “Latteral”more

3. Putting your foot in the ground. Any good Factorback needs to be able to put their foot in the ground. When you have a runner that can put their foot in the ground you have a runner that can make Factor runs not Contract runs. I’ll take a guy who gets 3.5 yards EVERY carry over a guy who goes 3, 90, 3, 2, 99, 2, 1, -1, 2, 86 because the clock is your 12th man and a Factorback is a grinder not a showoff. For a example see Merril Hoges 3.8 career YPC which is a little flashy but still exceptable.

Total Score: 25 You can make a strong case for Merril at number one but hes got a girls name folks,, cant do it

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