NFL Pundit Style Guide: Pete Prisco

08.06.14 3 years ago 11 Comments



If you havne’t gotten around to reading this mornings Jeans and Ties style profile on Sport’s Illustrateds Peter King its a must read for all fans of Dad fashion (Philip Rivers Im looking in your directon.) Suprised Peter still works for sports illustrated it seems like he should of grown out of the “illustrated” genre by now to like Sports Animorphs or somthing where he slowly turns into a diabetic opossum. 

But one things for sure: NFL fans have a ravenous apetite for style articles about there favorite beat writers and Goodell fluffers. In that spirit Id like to present to you the NFL Style Guide of one Pete Prisco:

NFL style is truley a tale of two Peters no offense to Michael Sam. On one hand youve got Peter King and on the other Peter Pauper. While King likes to show up on youre televison sets wearing custom tailored suits that are pretty much the size of a hotair baloon compared to his colleague Mike Florio, Prisco goes for the every man look. 

Priscoes a pioneer of the “Jacksonville Casual” movement consisting of a columbia fishing shirt, jorts and a court summon’s tucked into his cleaner sock. Lets brake this down:

Jorts: This is the most controversal part of Priscos ensemble. As a Jacksonville guy everyones calling him Blake Jortles now. He denies that there jorts, but all evidents points to the contrary:



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Look at that stiching. Theres no chance in hell those arent jorts. Not just jorts, but Cargo Jorts with pockets big enough to hold a regulaton size iPad or Roger Goodell brand fleshlight.  Another big factor for Pete is that he loves 2 show off his gator strength quads ‘n’ calves aka the Everglegs. Its no secret that Pete literaly lives in a gym.


Even Florio got in on the in vestigation:

 So now weve established beyond a resonble doubt (Lawyer term) that Prisco is a jorts afficianado.

Shirt: Pete needs something breatheble on his torso too. A man works up a sweat hoisting a pen with strong takes oozing out of it like Michael Vicks compresson shorts. Hunting shirts or lightweigt sports brand polos do the trick here to remind people who might see him wearing a polo shirt that he actualy likes sports more then looking like a guy who doesnt like sports when hes wearing a polo shirt.

Bonus: Shorter polos also help him show of his guns. 

Toothpaste: Optional

Tie: No ties. Ties are for soccer and you need to show of your traps whenever possible

Hair: Perfect mix of Hitler and Chris Bernman

Al in all Pete Priscoes a modern day fashion icon. Hes the anti Craig Sager folks. Because why be flashy when you can just moon every one.

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