Nothing moves the pizza pie like comical punches to the crotch.

10.29.08 9 years ago 33 Comments

Rather than look on in approval from afar, Jerry Jones seems to inject himself into the action as much as possible. After Sunday’s win over the Bucs, Jones usurped the coach’s post-game prerogative and awarded the game ball. Jones gave the ball to Wade Phillips, nominally for his defensive play-calling, who reportedly dumped the ball moments later. Perhaps Wade would have preferred a box of Drake’s Devil Dogs.

In addition to part-time coaching, Jerry is also a big-time television star. Here’s the recent pizza commercial referenced in the Newsday link. (FF to the :30 mark if you want to see the groinal fustigation and are willing to forgo essential plot and thematic developments.)

A millionaire pretending to take a punch in the dick? At some point you think he might say to himself ‘I am a sixty-six year old billionaire, perhaps some quiet dignity is in order.’ But alas, it appears nothing is too unseemly for Jerry:

Director: Jerry, Jerry, in this one we need you to look into the camera and say “Dis here Papa John’s sho’ am good pizza!” Take a bite, aaaand then… shit your pants.

Jerry: Okay, roll ‘em.

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