People Are Furious About 40-Count Bags Of Totino’s Pizza Rolls Containing Just 39 Rolls

The greatest conspiracy of our time may be upon us, and it’s not DNC emails, or global warming, or whatever the hell Alex Jones thinks about anything. FRIGGIN’ PIZZA ROLLS, PEOPLE. Yes, you heard me: Totino’s pizza rolls. Los Angeles Times reporter Daniel Miller first stumbled on this bombshell, tweeting Wednesday: “Whatever plagues you, know this: ppl are furious over their 40-count bags of Totino’s pizza rolls including just 39.” As evidence, he included several screenshots from unhappy customers tweeting their displeasure at Totino’s.

It’s unclear how he came across this info, and I’d imagine he’d have to keep his sources — if any — top secret, because clearly this thing is like the dang Da Vinci Code of stoner snack food. (Or I’d have to imagine, anyway. I’ve never actually seen or read The Da Vinci Code, but I kind of get the gist.)

At any rate, I decided to do some digging myself, and this conspiracy seems to span entire years… or at least back to 2013.

https://twitter.com/JustinBurrr/status/752285923081990144

https://twitter.com/phatzach72/status/396351083418636288

As Miller also pointed out, however, a representative from Totino’s has been reaching out to these unhappy customers, and even followed up with Miller himself.

Sure… That’s what they want you to think. Now, please excuse me while I fashion myself a tinfoil hat, made from the aluminum foil used to bake a batch of 39 pizza rolls.