Plaxico Denied A Microwave

10.05.09 8 years ago 24 Comments

Plaxico Burress had a couple of visitors over the weekend, unfortunately they brought along some contraband that didn’t make it back to his cell.

Burress’ visibly pregnant wife, Tiffany, and their 3-year-old son, Elijah, visited him Saturday and again yesterday. On Saturday, his wife attempted to bring him a GE microwave oven but was turned away by guards and had to lug it back to her white Range Rover.

Plaxico and Tiffany had a brief conversation before the guards made her leave with the microwave, a transcript of which follows.

Plaxico: What the hell is this?
Tiffany: You said you wanted a cake.
Plaxico: This isn’t a cake.
Tiffany: No, that’s a microwave. Good one too. Same one Jack Donaghy uses. You can use it to make cake.
Plaxico: But that’s not what I asked for.
Tiffany: You know I don’t cook!
Plaxico: [looking inside the microwave] What the hell is this, some kind of prison microwave cake recipe book?
Tiffany: No, that’s a file.
Plaxico: A file?
Tiffany: You said you wanted a damn file in the cake. Man, what the hell’s wrong with you?
Plaxico: I meant a metal file.
Tiffany: Are you stupid or something? You can’t put metal in the microwave!
Plaxico: [applies palm of hand to his forehead region]

Around The Web