The NFL Tried To Drug Test Brandon Browner For A Job He Didn’t Have

12.01.13 4 years ago 4 Comments


Suprise Suprise folks, the Legion of Choom/ Seadderal Pharmacyhawks has struck again. It seems like theyre called cornerbacks because they spend most of their time behind the Snappy Mart- they’re getting more famous for big hits on the bong then on the field at this point folks.

Brandon Browner was the most recent casualty of Commissioner Goodells War on Thugs,, and they caught him more red-eyed then red-handed smoking some of Seattles Top Pot. The devils in the details of this case though- it seems Mr. Browner has been drugtested by the NFL over 200 times since returning to the league in 2011, meaning more of his pee was going into a cup then into his pants or sinks or wherever these thugs feel the need to drain the main vein these days, and it also means that Browner pretty much had a live-in urine collector who probably just could of been on the lookout for him smoking pot in the first place.

This is striking some people as odd because Brandon had never failed a drug test in the NFL. Well guess what? Browner played in Canada from 2006-2011 and when your not in the NFL, your still subject to the leagues substance of use policys- and when Browner was playing in the CFL for like 5 years he REFUSED to be tested by the NFL who was sending there urine requests to his old girlfriends house. (which one?! <— just kind’ve a joke there but also its true maybe.) When Browner didnt show up on time for the drug test for the job he didnt have, it understandably raised more red flags then a Andy Reid wet dream.

If Browner thinks he doesnt have to do the NFLs drug testing when he’s not even a NFL player or in the same country, hes got another think coming. The NFL has the right to test any athletic Black (or white maybe) male for fear that one day they’ll make the NFL and fail a drug test. Its not different from testing people on welfare or employees of nonprofits- Its called being smart about business.

I you want to suck off the corprate teet of the NFL and all the other players who arent quitting to run away to Canada to get out of paying taxes and celebrating Christmas, then you need to MAN UP and be accountable for your actions,, and if that means donating enough of your pee to the NFL to fill up R Kellys bathtub then so be it, this is what you singed up for when you broke your arm and went to the CFL for better insurance or whatever you did. Sorry, not sorry.

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