Party-happy students are usually the biggest nuisance of any college campus. Things are quite different over at the University of Michigan, though, where police are in pursuit of a — wait for it — “very aggressive” turkey. Apparently, the wild bird has been holding innocent pupils and teachers hostage and causing traffic problems all across the school’s North Campus premises. The word “terrorize” has even been floated about in local reports.
“Do not try to approach the turkey,” deputy police chief Melissa Overton told MLive, adding, “We’ve gotten calls from people who have been trapped and unable to move because he’s cornered them. He hasn’t hurt anybody, but he’s a very aggressive bird… He’s also created a traffic hazard because apparently he likes to lay down in the middle of the road and not move. It can be very difficult for the buses to get around him.”
Having grown up in New York City’s forgotten borough, and the only one seemingly overrun with wild turkeys, I can attest to the annoying nature of these untamed creatures. I wouldn’t go so far as to call them tyrants or anything, but they do know how to get in the way. Perhaps they sense Thanksgiving is just around the corner?