This Story About A Man Who’s Been Pooping Wrong His Entire Life Will Leave You Completely Baffled

10.17.14 2 years ago • 67 Comments

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Reddit’s TIFU (“Today, I F*cked Up”) board is filled with all sorts of cringeworthy tales, but this story about a man who has been pooping wrong his entire life takes things to a new level.

Prepare to be painfully baffled:

So I’m hoping a load of people are going to come out in support of me here but I’ve got that sinking feeling I may be alone in this.

Our toilet broke so I was in shopping for new ones and the sales person joked (no doubt for the millionth time) that I’ll want one that automatically puts the seat down after I’m finished with it. I ‘joked’ back and said if I didn’t have a wife I could save money and not buy one with a seat and I’d never have to hear women complaining about putting it down again. To which he gave me a strange look and said “but what about when you need to poop?”. I naturally pointed out that I’m a guy and therefore don’t put the seat down, I sit on the rim of the bowl. Several embarrassing moments later, I realize that I’ve misunderstood my entire life and that guys do indeed use the toilet seat. I left empty handed and red faced.

Thinking about it now, it makes sense. Especially how men’s restrooms have seats. But I just assumed it was a unisex/cost saving/oversight deal.

Yikes. I almost feel bad for this guy. His parents failed to properly potty train him, and he’s gone through his entire life sitting on piss-stained toilet rims because of it. Logic apparently never intervened, and every hacky “What’s with women always complaining about us leaving the toilet seat up?” joke only reinforced Pee Butt’s erroneous behavior. Poor guy.

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