Poor(er) Terrell Owens, Even The New York Jets Don’t Want Him

Senior Writer
10.10.12 27 Comments

On Monday Night Football, we witnessed the New York Jets defy the odds by hanging within a touchdown of the undefeated Houston Texans, despite the fact that Mark Sanchez couldn’t hit a receiver if he’d just climbed out of Tony Parker’s bed. But the most remarkable moment of the game wasn’t when Tim Tebow ran for 10 yards and Jon Gruden sprayed his QB juice all over the monitor, or even when Gruden declared that J.J. Watts, he of 21 career games, was bound for the Hall of Fame.

It was when Terrell Owens shamelessly and pathetically Tweeted at the Jets to sign him.

While most of us all laughed, New York reporters cackled with menacing delight, as they all readied the most painfully irrelevant questions they could possibly think of for yesterday’s conference call with Rex Ryan.

On a Tuesday morning conference call with reporters, Rex Ryan didn’t immediately dismiss the idea, saying, “You never say never or anything. We’ll look at all options, like we always do.” But Ryan went on to say he doesn’t think Gates’ injury is serious and he expressed hope that rookie Stephen Hill (hamstring) can return this week.

“I would assume we would go with the same crew,” Ryan said. (Via ESPN New York)

Poor T.O. I mean, after all, it’s not like he had a chance with a team and then blew it by head-butting his wife over a condom receipt. Owens’ only crime is that he doesn’t pay his child support, because he blames Drew Rosenhaus’ scumbag associates for blowing all of his money. Maybe Owens deserves another chance. So I came up with a list of other companies he can Tweet at for good pay and health benefits.

Time Warner
Taco Bell
Tyson Foods
Home Depot
State Farm

Nah, who am I kidding? Just go ahead and Tweet at Vivid Entertainment. We all know that’s where this is heading anyway.

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