Long distance relationships are, to quote a wise person, “the worst.” Well, they’re not all bad. One can enjoy all the advantages of single life in the process. Work, social life, and all television or movie preferences rarely suffer while waiting for an S.O. to visit. However, desires can build to an unbearable level, which — whether one admits it or not — affects judgment. This can present the only possible explanation for what one dude did when deciding to use the wrong damn condom while reuniting with his absent wife.
Over at Reddit, things got real with the outcome of one reunion visit. Actually, this could all be fake, but it’s one helluva tale. User Fringe talks about his older brother and roommate, who was so excited to see his wife that he stupidly ripped a condom from a bulletin board. This tried-and-mostly-true form of birth control serves no benefit when it boasts visible holes, but the user didn’t care. Hours of Skyping anticipation crushed all common sense, and the man changed his life to achieve a few seconds of pleasure. Here’s how the prankster brother describes the, uh, exchange:
On the morning of his birthday, while he was still asleep, so I left him a little birthday present. We have a board in the kitchen where we pin stuff like bills, so I left him a note that said “happy birthday big bro, have fun” and I also pinned a condom and a $50 bill to the board. And as a joke, put 3 thumbtacks through the condom. My brother’s a smart dude, so I figured he would see the condom has 3 thumbtacks, laugh, and throw it away. I thought wrong.
Indeed, the brother-in-law thought wrong with a generation of consequences at stake. Per this lore, the husband stupidly used the condom from the bulletin board, and – lo and behold – something happened as a result:
A little over a month later, on Christmas Day, my parents are over, and my brother makes an announcement. He tells us all that he is moving to Buffalo to live with his wife, who is now pregnant. Knowing my brother, I knew that he didn’t want to have kids until he was at least 40, so after the announcement I pull him aside to congratulate him and ask for details. He tells me that the baby wasn’t planned, and that when he had sex with his wife on his birthday, the condom broke.
Well, the brother realized his own role in this oopsie, which is a good thing. And the prankster shall suffer financially (until a new roommate materializes), which is due as well. Still, one wonders whether daddy subconsciously overlooked the obvious condom holes. This must be the case, right?
(Via BroBible)