Karen should have really followed her dream to become a stripper. Now look at her.
Once upon a time, I used to play the Nintendo Wii. Then, after that b-tch machine took away a perfect bowling score from me in the last frame of my final turkey, I vowed never to touch it ever again. My point being that NOTHING will ever bring me back to play the Wii…nothing except for maybe a pair of cheap, ghetto wings that I can strap on and play a game with. Insert the insane electronic accessories from company CTA Digital (responsible for the Wii bowling ball and rowing machine), who most recently unveiled their latest fart bomb: Wii Wings. *facepalm*
According to CTA, Wii Wings will “help you to truly experience what its like to be a bird.”
They’ll also “add a sensation that you will not feel mimicking a flying chicken with your hands alone,” and reportedly “take your flying experience to another level.” Wii Wings tout features such as “finger loops” and “Velcro closers at wrist.” Don’t forget to follow CTA’s instructions while using Wii Wings either:
1. Slide fingers into finger slots
2. Secure wrist strap
3. Flap your wings and fly
I’m a little perplexed as to why they’d forget to mention the most obvious instruction, 4. Fulfill your life’s ambition to someday look like the biggest doucher of all time. To make matters even more embarrassing, the Wii Wings are designed for use with only one specific Wii Fit mini game, meaning that if you find yourself enjoying your wings for longer than a half hour, then you are surely under the influence of some really powerful medication.
Special thanks to engadget for the tip.