Preseason Week 1: Inside the Headlines

08.11.08 9 years ago 13 Comments

Talk now, bitch!

-Steve Smith is being held out of practice today as a result of the concussion he sustained during the first quarter of Saturday’s game when he head-butted Blue, the Colts mascot, for “talkin’ too much shit.”

-Braylon Edwards is out of the hospital after receiving stitches to close up a gash on his foot. The injury occurred when Donte’ Stallworth’s cleat clipped the back of Braylon’s foot while the receiver was running sprints in his socks. Cleveland’s owner Randy Lerner was quoted as saying “I’ll pay for socks or I’ll pay for shoes, but I sure as shit didn’t get where I am today by paying for both. I got where I am today by skirting pesky inheritance taxes.” Then he started throwing suitcases filled with cash at Joe Cole.

-The Steelers lost Charlie Batch to a cracked collar bone, so they brought in Daunte Culpepper and Byron Leftwich to compete for the backup spot. Leftwich eventually won the job when it was determined that his name would sound much funnier coming out of Hines Ward‘s mouth.

-Plaxico Burress announced that he doesn’t intend on practicing with his Giants teammates until his ankle returns to 100%. So that should cover him until sometime next summer at which point he’ll probably need a doctor’s note.

-Ahman Green and Gary Kubiak are both recovering today, the former from a groin injury, and the latter from a head injury sustained after fainting at the news of his running back’s ailment.

-Denver is missing both Boss Bailey and his backup at practice this week, which means Stefan Fatsis is one injury away from starting at middle linebacker.

-Earlier today Matt Jones appeared in court to face the charges levied against him. The Jacksonville receiver plead not guilty by reason of overwhelming whiteness.

-Shaun Andrews is back with the Philadelphia Eagles today after Andy Reid promised him all the happy pills in his home’s medicine cabinet.

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