Real Wolfmen Do Cry

10.25.12 5 years ago 57 Comments

The Cowboys were dealt a serious blow to their defense this week when it was announced that linebacker Sean Lee will miss the remainder of the season because of ligament damage in his right big toe suffered during Dallas’ win over Carolina. While DeMarcus Ware remains their best player, Lee was important in run defense and, as a white inside linebacker, an integral source of grittiness for the rest of the team.

No surprise, then, that Rob Ryan is upset the loss. What’s surprising is how broken up he got about it.

That’s right. Let it out, big fella. The Wolfman isn’t all about braying to the moon and six-week benders in Tijuana. He’s got feelings. Lots of ’em. And when he lets ’em, he lets ’em all the f*ck the way out. Holding back is for repressed pussies. Of course, it’s not just the loss of a key player that makes lose it. Rob cries about lots of things, such as:

A GREAT ass.

Bacon shortage

“No Van Parking” signs

Dances With Wolves

That acid trip where he sees his grandparents’ eyes on everything

Wasted food

Prevent defense

When a stripper retires


Old Yeller

Someone swiping his ‘ludes

A stern look from Buddy

Getting cut off at Golden Corral.

Jurassic Bark

The first time he saw the Three Wolf Moon shirt.

A silver bullet through the heart

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